As a result, this is a post that I've debated writing for quite a while. I'm not the type of person to share a lot of personal information or to share my whole life story and problems with every body, especially on social media. I believe there are things that you just keep to yourself and that not every one needs to know. Not to mention that I don't like pity parties. I don't like attention, and I don't like a whole bunch of people to feel bad for me or to feel like they have to be careful what they say around me. So, I figured this blog would be a good place to talk about it. People who I truly care about and who truly care about me will probably read it. People who don't really care about personal details of my life won't give it a second glance, and that's really the way I want it.
The truth is, I don't know when we'll have kids. We've been married for over 3 years and in October, I will have been off of birth control for 3 years. Given, Brandon has been gone for two 7 month periods over that time. I don't count that time as "trying" time because well, we couldn't actually try. Last fall, I think we really started to wonder why we hadn't gotten pregnant yet. There was a group of 4 girls at church who all started trying to get pregnant at about the same time. And less than six months later, within about a month of each other, they were all pregnant. But I wasn't. We started to talk about maybe going to see a doctor, but decided to wait and try on our own for a little while longer. But more months passed, and more people around us got pregnant. We finally decided that we would wait until deployment passed and then when he got home we would go see a doctor and see if we could figure out what was going on, and now here we are.
I had a doctor's appointment the week after Brandon got home. My OB/GYN told me she wanted me to try for two months, and then come back if still nothing had happened. The first month, Aunt Flow was right on time. The second month, though, I was a week late. 3 pregnancy tests and no positives. When it finally came it was such a disappointment. I was so late and that little bit of hope built up just enough for it to be another big let down.
So I went back to the doctor, and now figuring out what's going on begins. Brandon's going to be tested first because that's the easiest thing to do. If his tests come back good, I'll go in to have an HSG to see what's going on with me, and what the steps are to fix it.
So now you know. That's when we're having babies. Whenever we can.We know we'll be parents, we just know it will take some time and perhaps some creative means. I've always wanted to adopt or be a foster mom, so those are options we're looking at as well, regardless of whether or not we can have our own babies! I'm not writing this for pity, or for people to feel bad for us. That's not what I want. I guess I just want people to know so that I don't keep dodging the question. Because truly, I don't want to sit down with every person who asks and have this whole conversation. So now you know. All we really want are prayers and good thoughts!
Love, Harmonie
